Good For You
by jkitsjaredk
Summary: After the Connor Project turns into a mess, Evan decides to end it all. Alana hides in solitude, not wanting to be hurt again. Zoe is broken over everything that he has done. But Jared is a different story. He takes on all the guilt of Evan's death, and Evan left believing that his closest friend hated him. And he left without knowing who truly loved him.\ JARED X OC, KLEINSEN
1. CHAPTER ONE

It was one in the morning in early January, and Jared Kleinman's phone was ringing. He grabbed his glasses from the nightstand, and picked up his phone. He looked through the blinding light to see "Heidi Hansen" flashing on the screen.

 _Great,_ he groaned. _What did Evan do now?_

He answered the phone. "Hello?"

Sobbing was coming from the other end. "Jared... It's Evan's mother... Evan..."

Jared was instantly awake. "What's wrong? Where's Evan?"

Heidi stopped sobbing enough to mutter words Jared never wanted to hear. The words that broke him. The words that he knew would eventually come. The words he could've stopped. The words he knew were caused by him.

He barely remembered driving to the Hansen house. Pulling into their driveway, he noticed the Murphy's car was there. Heidi was gone

Zoe looked at Jared, tears in her eyes. "I didn't know... I didn't think..."

Jared couldn't bring himself to say he always thought it would happen. That somewhere, in the back of his mind, it would happen, but he never stopped it. And he would never forgive himself.

Cynthia looked up. "Heidi is in the hospital with... With Evan."

Larry was silent.

"No... It can't be true" Jared muttered. He glanced at Zoe to tell him everything was fine, to tell him Evan was still here. But she only looked at him with pure sadness in her eyes, confirming what had happened.

 _Not true,_ he repeated over and over again in his head. Maybe if he thought it enough, it wouldn't be true. _Not true. Not true._

But it was. The one person Jared truly cared about was gone. And he had left believing that he had no friends and his "family friend" hated him.

 _It has to be a dream._

But it wasn't a dream. It was a real thing Jared could've stopped. He could've held back on their fight. But he didn't, and now, the only friend he ever had was gone.

Jared ran to Evan's room, falling onto his bed and sobbing into his pillow, the last smells of Evan Hansen.

Jared awoke later with his parents at his side. He was back home.

"What...?" he asked groggily, groping around his nightstand for his glasses.

Then he remembered the night before, the crushing thoughts of everything that happened.

"Jare, honey, I'm so sorry," his mother brushed part of his hair out of his face. "I know he was a close friend."

Those words hurt more. It only reminded him of how he never told Evan that he was his only friend.

"How did I get back here?" Jared asked, sitting up. Wrapped around him was Evan's pale blue blanket he had had since he was little. Evan made Jared promise not to tell anyone. "And Evan's blanket..."

"Cynthia Murphy called," his father responded, not as gentle as his mother, but still caring. "She told us you locked yourself in Evan's room and was upset. We had to break the lock to get you out. You were sobbing, holding that blanket like it was your child. Heidi said you could have it, since you were Evan's friend."

There was that word again. _Friend._ Something Evan believed Jared wasn't.

"Do you want anything?" his mother asked.

 _I want Evan back!_ he felt like screaming.

But instead, he shook his head and laid back down.

A week later, Jared arrived back to school. Literally no one was talking about Evan's death, and it maddened him. Connor Murphy, the idiotic druggie, had made a whole scene. Now, he seemed to be the only one who remembered him. Most people didn't like Evan in the first place, he was the nerd who stood in front of the class saying "Um..." until he ran to the bathroom and refused to come out of the stall until Jared managed to coax him out. That was when he figured out he liked Evan.

He strutted up to a small group of boys. "Hey, so you guys must have had a good weekend. Enough hours to catch up on all you jerking off."

One of the guys, Will Chen, glared at him. "Jesus, Kleinman, is that all you think about? Is that all you _do_?" He left Jared alone.

Jared banged his head against his locker. Every time he tried to join a group, he was rejected. His humor he worked hard to come up with always turned everyone away. Which was why Evan had been his only friend, even if Evan didn't realize it.

Jared grabbed his books from his locker and went to his classes. For the first time, he was completely alone. Usually, Evan was in his classes and Jared felt more comfortable. Now he was in the back corner, trying to get Jason to forget about their earlier conversation. Out of all twenty kids in the class, he had gotten shoved with Will. Will took both twelfth grade math, and a college-level course ("Shove the Chinese kid in the college math courses," he'd joke.)

"I liked math better back in fourth grade," Jared told him. "Like, the 'I have 4 groups of 20 apples' kinds of problems."

Will rolled his eyes. "Look, Jared, have you ever considered the reason nobody likes you is because you make dumbass jokes all the time?"

Well, of course Jared knew that. But humor was the only way he knew how to hide himself. To be a jerk to everyone made him feel better about himself.

But the bell rang, and Will left without another word.

Jared went to the cafeteria, and sat alone at his usual table. Sometimes some of the band geeks and science nerds would sit with him and Evan, but today, they sat with each other.

 _Great,_ Jared thought. _Even the band kids left me._

Jared would have joined band, but he couldn't figure out how to play any of the instruments. He had been invited to the Science Olympiad team, but he didn't want people to think he was a nerd.

"Hey, um, is this seat taken?" a voice behind him asked.

Jared looked up to see a girl with wavy-ish brown hair and deep brown eyes pointing at the seat across from him where is bag was. He felt himself blush, she was kind of pretty, but swallowed the feelings.

"Uh... No. It's not," he finally said, moving his backpack. She sat down.

"I'm Meredith Bloom," she said. "I'm new here. Moved here from Colorado."

"I'm Jared Kleinman, and I never learned how to fucking read," he replied, a smirk dancing on his lips.

Meredith just stared at him blankly.

"Nevermind," he blushed. "Anyways, yeah I'm Jared. And I'm not new, just the loser nobody wants to sit with."

This time, Meredith laughed. Her laugh was the kind that cleared the air. Then, she looked back at Jared, and the fact he was the only one at the 8-person table. "So, you've sat alone for all of high school?"

Jared shook his head. "There was this other kid, this gigantic nerd I was friends with..." he trailed off, trying to hold back emotions. He said too much.

"Is he sick or something?" Meredith asked. Jared wanted to be that innocent, to think that Evan just had a flu, and not anxiety, depression, and ending up killing himself.

"No, um, he... He died. Last week," Jared whispered. He became suddenly interested in his zipper.

Mere's face fell. "Oh. I'm so sorry." She gently touched Jared's arm.

There was silence in the blaring loud cafeteria.

Suddenly, Jared poked the "chicken" with his fork. "They call this chicken _breast._ I'm pretty sure it's more of a chicken dick."

Meredith smiled, but it seemed forced. Jared guessed she was still troubled over the fact she was sitting in a dead kid's seat.

"You should come over this afternoon," she offered. "My dad would probably like to meet you."

"I doubt that," Jared smirked. "I'm not exactly what you'd call a good 'role model'," he said, making air quotes.

Meredith laughed again and the bell rang. "I'll see you," she said, grabbing her bag. "Meet me at the back door later?"

"Sure," Jared said, and she left.

 _Holy shit,_ he thought. _I am_ not _getting back into love._

But he was.

Jared walked into the locker room - one of his least favorite places. It smelled like sweat, fights broke out twice a week, and half the time, some kid was shoved in a locker. He was about three people away from being that kid.

His locker was carefully chosen - hidden in a corner away from everyone. He seemed to be unnoticed most days. He looked at the locker next to him, Evan's. He touched it wistfully, remembering it all. If Evan had been alive, he would be there with him.

"Yeet, motherfucker!" someone yelled, and Jared felt his pants jerk down. He rolled his eyes, and turned around, pulling them back up. Jack Finn. Of course.

"The fuck, man?" he growled.

"Bro, I was helping you. I mean, you'd have to take them off eventually," he reasoned, looking way to innocent. "It's called being a _good person_."

"It's called being an ass. Piss off." Sighing, he turned to open his locker. The stupid gym uniform, that barely fit him seemed to stare up at him, taunting him. He tugged it on, and slammed his locker shut, going out to the field behind the school. He trudged over to the field. Soccer. How awesome.

"Get over here, Kleinman!" the P.E teacher, Coach Marcus, screamed. Jared rolled his eyes, before awkwardly jogging over. He was the last to make it to the field, and Coach glared at him.

"Okay. Split into teams. Jack and David. You two are captains." Coach stepped away, as usual, and sat in a lawn chair on his phone. He answered a call - something about a garage door. Knowing Coach, he had probably been on his phone and crashed into the door.

Jack started off. They called out every person in the class, and finally got to Jared. David looked at Jack. "He's yours," he said, looking pretty happy with himself.

Jack groaned. He turned to Jared. "Don't fuck us up, please?" It was more of an order than a question. Jared knew how horrible at sports, and the class knew it. He was usually picked last, and he really just stood at defense.

Jack tossed the bag of pinnies to David. "We get Kleinman, you get these." Great. Jared was now being compared to a bag of smelly, old, jerseys. He stood in his usual spot, the corner of the field without anyone paying attention to him.

All the good players dashed around the field, blocking and scoring goals. David kicked one, straight at him. He put up his hands to block the ball, and the force made him wince.

"PK!" David yelled, high-fiving one of the other kids. Jack facepalmed. Jared backed away from the ball, not sure what to do. "Kleinman, put the damn ball on the PK line," David called.

"Uh... PK?"

Jack groaned. He grabbed the ball, and set it down, where there was no line. He glared at Jared. "Wow. You scored a PK. For the other fucking team. And your off the field."

"Dude... I don't really uh..." Jared trailed off. He had no idea how to play soccer - or any sports for that matter. He glanced at the other kids, already going back to playing.

Jack sighed. "PK. Penalty kick. Because you handballed...?"

"Oh."

He did not understand at all, but Jack just punched him in the shoulder, and ran back to the game. Jared just watched - not knowing what to do. A few goals were scored on his team, and he was glad he wasn't the reason that they were scored.

Afterwards, they piled back into the locker room, and Jared tried to steer clear of Jack and David. He got back into his regular clothes, which were much more comfortable, and walked out of the locker room. Usually, he tried to slip into a conversation (which also didn't go too well), but today, he wasn't feeling it. He felt numb still - like he was just moving around, not feeling anything.

Not feeling anything besides the guilt, which was slowly taking over his life.


	2. CHAPTER TWO

Jared grabbed his bag and the two began to walk out the door. He noticed Will with some of his band friends. Will was carrying a boxy-like thing in his hand.

"Hey, Chen!" Jared called. "That your box of toys?"

"Kleinman, it's called a _trumpet._ " Will came over. "Dude, you really gotta stop. You're embarrassing yourself."

Jared laughed. "Like, how exactly?"

"You look like a fool. You're screaming sex jokes across the school commons, and nobody thinks it's funny," Will responded. "Jared, if you want to have friends, you have to stop acting like a complete idiot."

Jared just stared at Will. He knew he didn't have friends, but did freaking Will Chen have to rub it in? It wasn't like Will was overly popular himself. Will's friends consisted of mainly band nerds. But Will did have some friends, which was more that anyone Jared had. The only person who he could consider as a friend now was Meredith. If he hadn't fucked up so much with Evan...

Jared balled his fist in anger of the thought. Evan's death was his fault. If he wasn't such a jerk to him, Evan would still be here. Evan was getting better, and Jared had to screw it all up.

Will looked at Jared, a slight ripple of concern flicked across his face. "You okay?"

"Fine," Jared muttered. He grasped his backpack straps. "I gotta go."

"Jared, I'm serious. Are. You. Okay?" Will put his hand on Jared's shoulder.

"Will, I'm fine." Jared pulled away and left. Why did Will all of a sudden care about him?

He walked in silence before hearing someone call his name. He turned to see Meredith. "Hey, Meredith!"

"Hey." Meredith walked up to him. "You going to come over or what?"

"Sure," Jared walked with her. It was a peaceful feeling to be walking by her side, and Jared tried not to blush. Meredith did _not_ need to know that he had a growing crush on her.

They arrived at Meredith's house a few minutes later, a green stucco house. "Very... colorful," he remarked.

She laughed. "Yeah. Our old house was a normal whitish color. Now we have this."

She walked inside. "Hey, Dad," she called.

A man, who looked about in his forties came in. He had brownish-blond hair and brown eyes. "Hey, Mere. Who's your friend?"

"Jared Kleinman," he responded, and gave an awkward wave. "Hi Mr. Bloom."

"You can call me Will," he told Jared, smiling.

Jared nodded, wondering why everyone had to be named Will. It only reminded him of his earlier conversations with Will Chen, which he _didn't_ want to remember.

"Yeah, we're going downstairs." Meredith led Jared down into the basement of the house. Surprisingly, it was nicer than most basements. There was lighting and carpeting throughout the area. It even smelled nice.

The basement had bookshelves filled with books, and photos in small frames. Meredith noticed Jared looking at them and smiled. She grabbed one. "This is me and my friends at my goodbye party." She pointed at one of the girls. "That's my best friend, Jessie Ames."

Jared nodded. He looked through the books on the shelves. Meredith blushed. "You're going to find a lot of weird books in there."

"Percy Jackson... haven't touched that since like, sixth grade," Jared said, looking up at her.

"Really?" Meredith looked doubtful.

"Okay, maybe last week. Just don't tell anyone." Jared smiled.

He kept looking. A shelf full of Harry Potter books. The Dan and Phil book ("You ship Phan? _Really?_ "), and a bunch of books he'd never heard of, but Jared didn't really read that much.

"So, I'm guessing you don't read. As you've never heard of half of these books," Meredith laughed. Jared returned to the couch with her. "So, what's your family like?"

"Me and my parents. And my dog, Baxter," he told her. "What about you?"

"My dad and mom. I have an older brother, Max, in college," she said.

Jared nodded. "That's cool. I'm an only kid. Gets lonely sometimes, since my parents are literally _never_ home."

"That sucks."

"Nah, I normally just je-" Jared stopped, and decided not to finish his sentence. Probably wasn't the best way to talk to a girl. "Uh, usually Evan and I would play video games, but... you know."

"Evan Hansen... Wasn't he that Connor Project dude?" Meredith asked. Jared must have made a face, because she immediatley said, "Sorry! I didn't mean to push or anything."

"No, it's fine. Yeah, me, him, and another girl, Alana, started that," Jared told her. The Connor Project was a complete trainwreck from the inside. It was one of the main reasons Jared had been mad at Evan, and one of the reasons Evan had killed himself. A kid killing himself over a suicide prevention thing. It was ironically funny and depressing at the same time.

"Oh... I'm sorry Jare." Meredith but her hand on his shoulder. The touch was comforting, and Jared felt like Meredith's hand was his one line back to his old life. Besides his parents, the last person to call him Jare was Evan. It brought back memories that Jared had been trying to shut down.

"It's fine." But he was trying to reassure himself more than Meredith. He leaned back and sat in silence. It wasn't awkward silence, more of "completly-shitty-and-depressing" silence.

"Um, so anyway," Meredith began - trying to change the subject, Jared guessed - "what do you like doing? Do you play instruments, or do art or something?"

Jared shook his head, laughing a little. Even to him, it sounded forced but Meredith seemed to not notice. "Nah. I tried trumpet once, but I sounded like a dying seal. You in anything?"

"Science Olympiad. At my last school, at least. Still got to talk to the science teacher here about it," Meredith answered.

"I was invited to the team a few years ago," Jared mentioned. "But I didn't need to seem like a nerd. You're team probably was cool. The one here..."

The one here, Jared desperatley wanted to be a part of. The team always had a lot of fun - at least from their Snapchat stories - but Jared couldn't be seen with them. Too many nerds.

Meredith laughed, punching his shoulder playfully. Jared felt himself blushing, and tried to swallow it back. "At my last school, our unnoffical motto was "High in intelligence, low in maturity," Meredith said. "But our teacher wouldn't let us get them on shirts. We have periodic table pun ones."

"Sounds... Fun!" Jared laughed, a real one this time.

After a while of talking, and Jared accidently admitting he did read and was a huge fanboy about some things, they realized it was getting late. Jared stood. "I gotta go," he said.

"We should meet up again sometime," Meredith offered. "A movie or something."

"Sure." Jared smiled. "See ya Meredith."

"Bye!"

Jared walked out of her house, saying goodbye to her parents on the way, and started walking home. The whole time he critizised himself about everything he said to her. He was basically the Hagrid of real life, as "I should not have said that" kept racing through his mind.

"Hey, hon," his mom said as he came in. "How was school?"

"Fine." His usual response.

"Great, hon, well dinner's almost ready, so I'll call you down." His mother smiled at him, before returning back to whatever she was cooking.

Jared walked into his bathroom, glancing at the shattered mirror he had broken. Tiny Jared's stared back at him. He should've taken it down, but never did. He always kept it up, as a reminder to himself.

Finally, he went back to his room and unlocked the small drawer in his nightstand, and grabbed the picture that was on the top of the pile. Him and Evan, aged 7. They had just met - Evan had been crying on the playground because of his dad leaving - and Jared had sat with him. The two became great friends, until high school, where Jared would make his dumbass decision to ditch Evan.

He knew he would never have popularity, even without Evan. But he did, and now Evan was gone. Evan died thinking Jared was a "family friend" that only talked to him because of car insurance, and Jared could never get past that.

He made his way back downstairs, and sat at his usual seat at the table. His mother set a plate of pasta down in front of him, sitting across the table. "So, Jared, first day! How was it?" She always repeated everything, way to cheery. It was annoying.

"It was fine, Mom," Jared muttered. He stared at his food before pushing it around his plate, his usual dinner routine - if his parents were home, which they usually weren't "I'm not hungry."

"You sure? You're always hungry," his mother joked. Jared felt the sudden urge to yell _You're never home, so you never notice I'm not anymore!_ But he kept his thoughts silent.

"I'm just not hungry today, okay Mom?" He slammed his fork onto his plate, and stood. Then, he saw a family photo: Him, his parents, and a younger, fluffier Baxter. "Mom, why do you stay with him?"

"Who? Your father?" His mother looked quizzically at him. "Jared, we're not going to get divorced, if that's what you're worried about."

"Mom, he's never here."

"So? Jared, if you have your own problems with him, honey, we can talk about it. But that's not gonna change us, don't worry." His mother stood, putting her arm around him. "Don't worry, sweetie."

Wow. Obviously, she had _no_ idea what he meant. Jared pulled away, and went up to his room. He flopped onto his bed, groaning. His mother would end up with some STD from whatever 25-year-old girl his dad was hooking up with. And then his family would be broken up even more (which, truthfully, he wouldn't mind), and he'd be even more isolated. Day after day, life was turning shittier. And it was all his fault.

He pulled out his phone, and opened Google. He typed in the three words that he probably shouldn't mess with. _The Connor Project._ After a moments hesitation, he hit SEARCH.

Instantley (0.38 seconds to be exact), websites popped up. The official page, which hadn't been updated in forever. A Redbubble with someone's drawings of Connor and trees they had sold for the orchard. A fucking Tumblr. So much for a fake thing he had helped create.

He fucking hated that word. It sounded so wrong - like a crime or whatever. He guessed it technically was, as you were killing someone, but still. It just seemed so awful, and Evan didn't deserve that. No one did, but yet, it happened. And he could have stopped Evan's.

He scrolled down, and found a video. _ONLINE CONSPIRACIES: Was "The Connor Project" Fake?_

He had to laugh at that one. Obviously, it was. For his own enjoyment, he clicked on it. Which happened to be the biggest mistake of his life. The video showed some articles about Evan's death, which somehow managed to surface off the town paper. It showed e-mail inconsistancies ( _fuck_ ), and a whole lot of other shit that Jared should have noticed. Yet another way he had ruined Evan.

He clicked off the video, and threw his phone across the room, hoping it didn't break. But he didn't care about it anymore. He just wanted his old life back, back when he could be friends with Evan, back when nobody cared, back when it was all fun, and you could just be yourself.

Because that wasn't how high school worked.

 _Five months_ , he told himself. _Just five months._


	3. CHAPTER THREE

Somehow, Jared found himself under the bleachers with Will Chen. Fantastic.

He had left school, looking for Meredith, when Will had grabbed him and pulled him under the bleachers. "Hey,"

"Is there a reason you were stalking me underneath the bleachers?" Jared glared down at him. Will barely even noticed him, until apparently now, when he had just watched him and grabbed him. Which was a very Will thing to do. He was the kind of people who would watch and listen, just noticing everything.

"We just gotta talk, Jared," he said, sitting on a bar that ran underneath the seats. "Yesterday... Are you sure you were okay? You're never like that, I mean, so…"

"Will, dude, I'm fine," Jared said, trying to scramble out of the situation. He wasn't about to barf all of his thoughts onto Will, a guy he barely knew. Will was just a tiny bit more popular than him, meaning the band kids liked him. That was about it, as Will was well-known for being a nerd.

"Jared... I'm so sorry about Evan..." Will placed his hand gently on Jared's shoulder. His face had completley changed - his gaze had softened, and he looked upset. "I miss him, too."

 _Not as much as I do,_ Jared thought, but just shrugged off Will's hand. "Will, it's cool, man. I'm fine."

"Keep telling yourself that," Will muttered, but his gaze was still gentle. He just looked at Jared, and Jared could see the pain in his eyes. Jared never really thought about Will being friends with Evan. Will was pretty well-liked and smart. Evan was the loser who had panic attacks in bathrooms. _And me?_ Jared thought, _I'm the asshole who can't shut up._

"Chen, I'm completely fine, okay? So just-"

Jared was cut off by a sneering voice. "Well, what do we got here? Two boyfriends hooking up, I see."

Jared turned to see Mason Howe. He glared at him. He had hated Mason since seventh grade, when Mason had punched Evan behind the school. Jared had told, and Mason was suspended. Mason had always tried to get him back for that.

Jared still remembered that day. He and Evan had been walking through the basketball courts and Mason had stopped them. Mason had Evan, and Jared had ran off. It still made him hate himself for not helping Evan, just running off like a coward. He was pretty sure Evan was about to piss his pants.

"We're not... I'm not dating him," Jared finally muttered out. "So kindly fuck off?"

"Oh, that's right. You were dating Hansen, weren't you?" Mason smirked.

"I... We weren't together." Jared could feel himself blushing, and he tried to stop it, which was impossible.

"Leave us alone, Mason," Will murmured. "Just go, okay?"

Mason ignored him. He turned back to Jared. "So, admit it, Kleinman. You're gay for your dead boyfriend."

"Pan," Jared corrected, something he was used to doing, and instantley regretted it. Why, for once, couldn't he keep his mouth shut?

"Ohh, what was that, Kleinman? You a dish-fucker now?" Mason came closer, and grabbed Jared by his shirt. "Well, guess what, dumbass. That's going everywhere." He shoved Jared to the ground, and ran off.

"Jared!" Will called, running over from the corner he had retreated to. He reached out a hand to help Jared up, but Jared shoved him away.

"The fuck, Chen? Why do you have to drag me into this?" Jared yelled, getting up.

"Jared I'm sorry! I didn't mean for this to happen." Will sat down on the metal bar. He looked up at Jared, seeming dejected. Will's personality could change so fast. It was like he was different people every five seconds. "I… God. Mason's an ass. I'm sorry."

"Whatever, Will. Just leave me alone, okay?" Jared finally grumbled, and left Will under the bleachers. He climbed out, and clutched the sides of his backpack, and started to walk off. Of course, Mason had to be an idiot. He was just a jerk out to ruin his life.

His phone dinged. He opened it up, and Meredith had sent him a video, with a message: _**Jared?**_

He clicked on the video. It opened YouTube, the blank screen with just the logo making it weirdly suspenseful.

Finally, it loaded. The video opened up, a horribly filmed video of him. But when he saw the title, he felt like he was about to throw up.

 _Jared Kleinman: Should I date Evan Hansen or Will Chen because I am gay (oh, sorry, pan) af_

Jared watched the video, his horror turning to anger. Of course Mason had filmed and posted it. He just had to be an asshole who had to ruin Jared's life. He had to be an idiot. He had to be a complete jerk who only wanted Jared to be ruined.

He got another text from Meredith. _**Jared, you ok?**_

 _I'm fine, Mere_

 _ **Come over**_

It seemed against his will, but he started moving to Meredith's house. He finally made it to her house, where she opened the large brown door as soon as he came up the driveway. "Hey," she said, sounding worried and rushed, shutting the door behind him immediately. They started walking down to her room. "Jare, you okay? Mason's video..."

"I'm fine, but yeah, it's true. I'm pansexual. Gay. But I'm not dating Will." Jared told her, his breaths ragged from his fast walk over. "Mere, please don't tell anyone. I mean, most people will already know, but… you're one of the first people for me to tell. So please, if nobody sees it, hopefully…."

"I won't, Jared, I promise. But if you are dating Will... I won't judge," Meredith said, sounding slightly jealous, which made Jared a little happier. But still, how could Meredith not believe that he _wasn't_ dating Will?

"Meredith. I'm not dating him." Jared felt like he could repeat that over and over, just to win Meredith over. He had just met her, yet he'd do anything for her. "Please, believe me."

"I do, Jared, I just... You know what? Nevermind. Let's just hang out." Meredith climbed up into her loft bed, and leaned over the side looking at Jared sitting below. "You want anything?"

Jared shook his head. He wanted Meredith to stop thinking about him and Will. He wanted her to stop thinking so much about what he was, and just think about him, and like him. Because he was already developing a crush (which he did _not_ want) on her, and just wanted her to like him.

He had never told Evan that he had liked him. He came out to him back in eighth, but never bothered to tell him about his love live besides that. Evan had been obsessed with Zoe Murphy, which had turned out _fantastic_ , and he was pretty sure Evan thought that Jared liked Zoe as well, as he got pretty jealous whenever Evan talked about her. Exactly the opposite, Hansen.

After awhile of small talk, Meredith asked, "Jared? Besides Evan… did you hang out with anyone?"

Jared looked at her, wondering where she got that question from. After a thought, he replied, "Uh… kinda? I hung around with the band and science kids sometimes. The track kids were kind of fun, too, I guess."

Meredith nodded. Jared wished he could know what was happening in her brain. He wondered why she asked that, or why she cared. Meredith seemed like a person who was pretty popular, and Jared was basically the exact opposite.

He checked the video that Mason had posted. The comments were flooding with jokes about him, Evan, and Will. They were all the same repetitive things, _Gaaay, always knew kleinman was a fag, they were totally fucking._

Except, there was one message that stood out. It was from someone who's channel was titled, "GAYSIAN" with a rainbow profile picture. _Take this shit down,_ it read.

Yeah. Like Mason would listen to some other gay guy in his comment section. Mason wouldn't listen to one of his friends if they had told him to take down the video. Jared clicked on the profile, wondering if it was Will Chen. The about section was only titled _Sup I'm Nick, follow me though I won't post anything._ True to his word, there were no postings.

There was a link to his Instagram, and Jared clicked onto it. It was a private account, but Jared sent him a message with a screenshot of his comment. _Hey, I'm Jared. Thanks, dude. But he won't listen. Unless you want to be attacked by a horde of homophobes._

"You good?" Meredith called. Jared jumped, forgetting that she was there. He looked back up at her, her eyes caring. He pocketed his phone, putting it on silent, so he didn't have to worry about Mason and his stupid video.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." He leaned against Meredith's wall. "It's all fine."

Meredith gave him a teasing smile. "Repetitive talking. Sure. What's wrong, Jare?" She climbed down from her bed, and sat across from him. "You can tell me."

"It's nothing." Jared stood. "I, uh, I gotta go. It's getting late."

"Jared…"

"No, no, it's not you. But my mom's home today so…" Jared trailed off. He didn't want to lie to Meredith, but he just wanted to be alone. "I'm sorry." Turning around, he left Meredith's room, and out the door. He checked his phone again, and a message was waiting from the Gaysian guy, someone named Nick.

 _Hey. No problem, dude. The Rainbow Room's gotta always be open and ready._

Jared had to laugh at that. He typed a response, and finally made it home. He unlocked the door to his house, and went up to his room, settling into his sheets. He continued to text Nick, and found that he lived about thirty minutes away. They made plans to meet up at a small cafe, (where Nick lived, so Mason wasn't there to document it) and Jared flopped back onto the bed, glancing back at Mason's video. It had a couple hundred views, most likely from the school.

He heard the door unlock, and then slam shut. Someone stomped up the stairs, and his father crashed open his door. Jared jerked up. "So, you got back from screwing that 25-year-old, I see," he grumbled.

"Shut the hell up." His dad marched over to him. "What the fuck is this?"

His father shoved his phone into Jared's face. It was a message between him and his mom. All about how Jared wanted them split up, and how he said that his dad wasn't a good person. He groaned internally. His mother may not of realized what he meant, but his dad sure did.

"The truth," he muttered sarcastically. His dad glared at him and slapped him.

"Kid, look. Tell your mother anything more, and you're dead." He glared at Jared, before leaving, and slamming the door behind him. Jared groaned, and layed back onto his bed. Life was shit.

He sat at his usual table, and today was joined by Alana and Zoe. "Hey, Jared. You okay?" Zoe rested a hand on his wrist. "We got the video down. Mason's an asshole. Sorry."

"Yeah. I'm fine. I don't really care, I mean, it's not like I wasn't going to do it eventually." Jared shrugged. Truthfully, he really didn't mind, but he wished it didn't have to come from fucking Mason Howe. But hey, at least it got out without him having to awkwardly tell everyone.

"You sure?" Alana sat next to Zoe.

"Yeah. Totally." He wanted them to leave him alone. It wasn't like they had been friends, or had talked since it all went down. And now, suddenly, they were all caring because of something Mason did?

Zoe and Alana shared a Look, which annoyed Jared. After all this, they had become better friends, and seemed to rub it in at every waking moment. He had lost his only friend, unless you counted that random Gaysian dude Nick, who he didn't really know.

Meredith came over, and saw the two girls with Jared. "Um… hi?" She sat by Jared, and looked at him questioningly.

"Uh, this is Zoe and Al-"

"Alana Beck," she finished. Jared tried not to roll his eyes. Alana was being annoyingly preppy as usual. Alana always had her 50 million different titles for herself, and never shut up.

Meredith nodded. "So, uh, I moved here from Colorado a few weeks ago. Just started here. I don't really have a lot of groups to join, you know, as it's the middle of the school year and all."

Zoe nodded. "Makes sense. I do band, but that's about it for extra groups. Alana, on the other hand…" She smiled at Alana, and Alana laughed.

"I liked being busy."

The three girls seemed to be happy with eachother, and Jared was glad about that. For once, he could have fun. Forgetting about everything, he could now have something nice in his life.

Meredith, Zoe, and Alana. Pretty unpredictable.


End file.
